First, stand really close to the person in line ahead of you. Guys, particularly, dig that. If there are two lines going, stand between both of them. That way you can claim whatever spot opens first. Most people are too polite to go around you. Don't look at the menu board until you get to the service counter. Ask if they have any specials. Ask about the ingredients of each item. Take some time to mull over your options. Call Mom and ask what she thinks. Change your order 2-3 times. ALWAYS request unsalted fries. Everyone knows that forces them to make them fresh just for you. When you get to the self-serve drink station, be sure to make your own special mix that includes, Dr. Pepper, Sprite, Orange Soda, Minute Maid Lemonade and Diet Coke. Taste test. Dump out the drink and start over until you get it right. Touch every plastic fork and spoon in the tray and then take 3 of each. Grab a 1-inch wad of napkins and 12 ketchup packets. Take the large booth instead of the small one so you have good elbow room. That family of four can spread out between the two small tables. Call your doctor to discuss your Ulcerative Colitis in detail. Most people love that. When you leave, don't clean up your table. After all, you paid to be here … and so did everyone else.
